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Here I Am

from Here I Am by Ben Travis

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about

This was the first song I wrote as I was going through a process of questioning many of the things I had been taught about the world since early on in my life. Even now, some 13 years later, it reminds me not to become complacent about the way I see things. The moment we accept that things are "this way" or "that way" because we've been taught that or because we have just always believed it, we lose an opportunity to discover something new about the universe. This song was written at the beginning of a long process of reevaluating things and then forming new conclusions about how the universe works. The main conclusion that I have come to is that I simply don't know a lot of the answers to the hard questions... is there an afterlife? If so, what is it like? How much should I trust any figures in authority, from spiritual teachers to scientists?

I tend to think that science has a better method for discovering truth about the universe, because there is a method for proving an idea wrong. Nevertheless, that doesn't mean there aren't things beyond the reach of science or things that science just hasn't figured out yet. Life is a mystery, but a wonderful mystery. As I say in this song, "I had life in a box." I used to think I had all the answers to just about every question. Now I think I have very few, but I find that to be a much more honest and rewarding way to live. I find so much wonder inside me as I look up at the stars, wondering what might be out there waiting to be discovered.

I have found that once I became comfortable with not having or even needing to have "answers," my life has been a lot more interesting. I find it easier to accept people for who they are, regardless of what they believe about the world and whether or not it matches up with what I believe. I find that we are all humans, all hoping to find happiness and peace, and I hope for a day when we will focus more on what we have in common than on our differences.

Special thanks to Sam Kallaos on drums and Andrew Henderson on guitar.

lyrics

Here I Am
Ben Travis © 2000

I had life in a box
I kept it in the palm of my hand
Nobody could tell me anything
I didn’t already understand

But now my little box has grown
Can’t even fit it in my room
To tell the truth, it’s not a box anymore
It’s more like a big, expanding balloon

(chorus)
Here I am… don’t even know what I used to know
Staring at the stars and scratching my head
Can’t even sleep when I’m in my bed
Here I am… throwing off the mask of certainty
Smiling at the kid I used to be
And wondering what the future holds for a man like me

Milk and cookies by the stairs
Waiting for the man in red to appear
Down the chimney any minute now
Sure hope I’ve been a good boy this year

But now my Santa Claus has gone
So tell me what am I to do?
If all those presents weren’t from him
Maybe what they told me just isn’t true
(to chorus)

“Just close your eyes and believe
That feeling of wonder goes away”
But if it’s okay with you
I think I’m gonna just let it stay
(to chorus)

credits

from Here I Am, released September 10, 2013

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about

Ben Travis Nashville, Tennessee

I’m a Nashville-based audio engineer and producer. I work primarily with singer/songwriters and bands with original music to help them create a musical product they can be proud of without paying the prices of major studios.

I'm also an independent artist and songwriter. My music invites listeners to think and ask meaningful questions about the world around them.
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